Just this spring I realized that exactly this structure was causing me unnecessary suffering. I started thinking in terms of "the male gaze", i.e., the quality of attention through which women are presented primarily as potential lovers who you must be ready (and worthy) to seduce, on pain of self-esteem damage. I have been trying, with some success, to re-wire my brain so that the type I am primarily presented with when I look at women is "neighbour", or "distant cousin". My practice has just involved noting: every time I notice myself noticing a woman *as a woman*, I think "hey, it's my neighbour/cousin" and wish them well (usually just in my head).
5. The Lorenz attractor is a good visualization of these dynamics, there are two centers: power (control), and game (money and solidarity). There is no third center for posturing (prestige), only that it zig-zags between the two centers in a semi-stable way. Pretends to be macho on one end, returns to mediocre/average life on the other. https://danco.substack.com/p/the-michael-scott-theory-of-social
Can you give me an example of how describing a 'type' loosens your grasp on that 'type'? Like, is it a typical occurance or is it a constant feedback thingy?
Just this spring I realized that exactly this structure was causing me unnecessary suffering. I started thinking in terms of "the male gaze", i.e., the quality of attention through which women are presented primarily as potential lovers who you must be ready (and worthy) to seduce, on pain of self-esteem damage. I have been trying, with some success, to re-wire my brain so that the type I am primarily presented with when I look at women is "neighbour", or "distant cousin". My practice has just involved noting: every time I notice myself noticing a woman *as a woman*, I think "hey, it's my neighbour/cousin" and wish them well (usually just in my head).
Great idea for a practice! I'll have to give this a try.
Great to see you're back!! This was a good read!!
The idea of "talking to women" is easier than it seems, here I will provide some hinters on what expectations need to be adjusted:
1. Just talk to girls with bare minimum etiquette, it should be patently clear whether you are "good" or not (either high-value powertalk or normie gametalk). Conversely, fedora-tipping behavior implies lack of self-awareness (cringe posturing). https://eggreport.substack.com/p/food-and-time https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2009/11/11/the-gervais-principle-ii-posturetalk-powertalk-babytalk-and-gametalk/
2. Imposter syndrome exists for everything, including looks and competency. Rule of thumb: the top quintile (5s or above ~ PhDs/Experts) is low-balling their performance, the second quintile knows what they are (3s to 5s ~ College/Proficient), and the other quintiles gets increasingly naive about their performance (Sub-3s ~ Undereducated). http://haines-lab.com/post/2021-01-10-modeling-classic-effects-dunning-kruger/ https://goldvalueideas.wordpress.com/2021/03/17/sex-differences-in-romantic-selectiveness/ https://archive.ph/IX2oU https://archive.ph/PsmAY
3. "SMV" are revealed preferences (as in people don't know what they want until they see it in full resolution), you cannot hack the system like a PUA. Every "self-help" constitutes the Midwit Matrix in some way. Countersignaling from the successful is inherently sus. https://eggreport.substack.com/p/beyond-certainty https://archive.ph/U6iBr https://archive.ph/pcZ7V https://daedtech.com/how-developers-stop-learning-rise-of-the-expert-beginner/ https://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2019/06/06/prestige-copying/
4. People who are constantly pestering women knows not what they really are. Either they are clueless, or they are grifting. The latter is often excused as "raising awareness even when it is ineffective". https://theredqueen.substack.com/p/dunning-kruger-power-effect https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2010/04/14/the-gervais-principle-iii-the-curse-of-development/ https://archive.fo/hUnXm https://archive.ph/Y92ob https://archive.ph/hkurX
5. The Lorenz attractor is a good visualization of these dynamics, there are two centers: power (control), and game (money and solidarity). There is no third center for posturing (prestige), only that it zig-zags between the two centers in a semi-stable way. Pretends to be macho on one end, returns to mediocre/average life on the other. https://danco.substack.com/p/the-michael-scott-theory-of-social
6. If an attractive guy have "skin in the game", if he is aware of what he was worth, then he would surely try to hide it but fail. The sexual equivalent of "money talks but wealth whispers" and "stupid people are full of confidence". The ugly cannot disguise as beauty and vice versa, only the average has to the ability to pretend. https://studio.ribbonfarm.com/p/good-people-and-wicked-problems https://archive.ph/RXX1v https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2013/05/16/the-gervais-principle-vi-children-of-an-absent-god/
What the fuck dude
good response ♥️
Sorry man, I was kinda messed up.
https://youtu.be/HsvyjePPFRs
Can you give me an example of how describing a 'type' loosens your grasp on that 'type'? Like, is it a typical occurance or is it a constant feedback thingy?